A Lundy Diary




Sea cliffs are a fine thing, in moderation.

A Lundy Diary..

But the danger had past, they had landed at last,
With their boxes, portmanteaus and bags.
Yet at first sight the crew were not pleased with the view
Which consisted of chasms and crags.
                  Lewis Carroll.
    The Hunting of the Snark

For the uninitiated, Lundy is a small island some 12 miles north of the Devon Coast, or 25 miles south of the Pembrokeshire coast if you are a Welsh Nationalist. The only permanent inhabitants are a couple of dozen Landmark Trust workers and a few sheep and other animals. Apart from a few holiday cottages, all it has is a Tavern, a gift shop, a huge church and three lighthouses. It is a good place to visit if you like Puffins, rock climbing on sea cliffs and I suppose, lighthouses. It is “A veritable haven of tranquility set amidst a sea of tormented souls” as someone once said to me after rather too many pints of Guinness in the Marisco Tavern. 

The following account is comprised of incidents cobbled together from several visits but it still is a more or less, (mainly less), accurate account of those trips. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent as well not to mention the guilty.

Saturday a.m. - Windy. The ferry crossing from Bideford was horrendous for those with no sea legs.It was a bit choppy to say the least. We offered to help the crew distribute sick bags, thus guaranteeing us a ready supply of said items. Most were used by two of my companions, Will and Paul. We reached Lundy and our cottage at midday.

Saturday p.m. Despite his sickness Will was keen to start climbing as soon as we landed. I wasn’t, I wanted to watch the campers struggling to put up their tents and find out if someone, namely Paul, could actually die of sea-sickness. We compromised and went to do an easy climb at the Battery.

Sunday - Sunny. Went climbing with Will again. For starters he chose a climb called “Indy 500” an E1. After doing several more climbs I realised that since I had last climbed with him, he had become rather good and so horribly keen he wanted to climb all of the time. I had no intention of doing this. I would have to think of ways to avoid him.

Monday am- Sunny. Got up early and hid at the bottom of the island. Crept carefully back to the cottage at midday. Will had left a note; “Gone to Grand Falls Zawn with Paul, see you there.” Oh no he wouldn’t. 
Monday pm - Sunny Ventured out to the north of the island and saw Bob and sean . they were watching Paul and Mouldie on a tough looking climb. Paul had led a long unprotected looking traverse and Mouldie appeared dubious about following. What happened next was surprising.
Mouldie, "Is the belay good" 
Paul "Sound as a pound"
Mouldie "Time for Plan B then".
Paul "What's P........"
At which point Mouldie jumps off and we witness the biggest pendulum we have ever seen and two watching tourists suffer coronary episodes.

Tuesday a.m. Rain, windy. Not even Will wanted to climb in the rain. Bob did though and he dragged his mate Sean off to the Devil's Limekiln to do The Exorcist, an E3 on the crumbliest rock on the island but at least it would be sheltered from much of the wind and rain.

Tuesday p.m. Heavy rain, gales. Party set off to rescue Bob who was stuck halfway up The Exorcist. Watched the campers trying to keep their tents up.


Wednesday a.m.- Sunny. By the time I had got up Will had given up on me and gone climbing with Paul. Persuaded Mike, who seemed to have been asleep continuously since Saturday, to do some easy climbing on Montague Buttress. This was the scene of a shipwreck in 1906, when a battleship collided with Lundy. As an entry in the Lundy Logbook says, “It must have been a million to one shot that HMS Montague should run aground on the Montague Steps!”

Wednesday p.m. To avoid climbing I organised what was possibly the first ever game of cricket to be played on Lundy. The Under 30s played the Over 30s and despite my heroic efforts, the former won but only because we old ‘uns were stuck with Paul and Will who had about as much hand to eye co-ordination as a pair of drunken slugs.

Thursday a.m. - Sunny. Will was stuck for a partner so I relented. Went to Big Zawn to do The Ocean, a 450 foot E1. Was nearly taken out by a rock on the abseil in. Seemed a gloomy forbidding place. Was about halfway up when two people canoed into the zawn and started climbing. Things perked up when they joined me on one of the belay stances, I noticed they were climbing topless and appeared to be female. Could almost hear Will cursing his bad luck from his belay 100 feet above. Wanted to quit while I was ahead but Will was adamant on doing another route.

Thursday pm Went to Landing Craft Bay. We were standing at the bottom of the cliff when a voice from above yelled, “Excuse me! Have a care down there, a segment of rock has detached itself from the cliff and would appear to be heading in your general direction.” Or as we all saw it, “Some stupid B****** is trying to kill us!” We were right about the “stupid”, it was Mike abseiling in to join us. Of course we all did what you shouldn’t do and looked up to see what was coming down. It was impressive. The fridge sized boulder missed us by about 20 feet and exploded like a shrapnel bomb, scattering tiny pieces of itself all over the zawn. Somehow no one was hit, although Mike almost was when Will caught up with him. 

Thursday night. Everyone got drunk in Marisco Tavern. This had nothing to do with the narrow escapes, it was just what always happened.

Friday - Sunny.  
10.00 a.m. Sore head. After making sure Will had left, I got up. A note said, “Gone to do Grand Falls Road”. Not wanting to repeat a route I’d done before, I tagged along with Mike, Kay and Norman who were going to Beaufort Buttress to some easy climbs. Saw Will and Paul who were about to abseil into Grand Falls Zawn.

2.00 p.m. Walking back to the cottage, I noticed Will and Tony were still trying to abseil into Grand Falls Zawn.

4.00 p.m. Bob returned and reported that Will and Tony were trying a different way to abseil into Grand Falls Zawn.

6.00 p.m. Will and Tony returned after failing to abseil into Grand Falls Zawn. They immediately set off for the pub to get drunk. I accompanied them in case they had problems finding the way in.


Saturday a.m.- Sunny. The last day. Ferry at five. Some went climbing. I ventured out to the Lundy shop, not something to be undertaken lightly because of the prices and impossibly nice lady who worked there. It went like this. 
 
Me. “I’d like six stamps please
Ms Nice. “That’s lovely sir, first or second class?”
Me. “Second class please”
Ms Nice. “That’s wonderful, there you are sir, bless you.

As Will said after a similar experience “Everyone on the island is so nice, it makes you want to start a fight” but then he is from North Shields.

Saturday p.m. A great finish to the week. Whilst waiting for the ferry we played a game of what could be described as rugby but only loosely and I managed to dislocate a finger, fortunately it was one of Wills. That should make the world a safer place for me to climb in for a while. Even better than this was the return crossing. The sea was as flat as the proverbial millpond.

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