The Perfect Day

Once in a while even the unluckiest person will have one of these, although this one did not begin too well.

The Perfect Day..

Now Kipling Groove and me go back a long way. After years of happily coasting along on diffs and severes it was this route more than any other that inspired me to push my grade. It was the name that first attracted me. I wondered if it had any connection with Rudyard Kipling the writer and poet whose work I much admire or was it linked to Mr. Kipling’s excellent range of confectionery which I admire almost as much, especially the apple pies? Either way I couldn’t lose. Seeing a photo of the dramatic undercut traverse and reading about it in Hard Rock increased it’s allure and when I learned that Arthur Dolphin, named it Kipling Groove because it was “Ruddy ‘ard” I knew I just had to do it!

I also read somewhere that someone on the second or maybe the third ascent had put a peg in to protect the crux and so I was determined, as a little mark of respect to Dolphin, not to clip the offending object when I did the route. In fact I rather rashly boasted to friends that “I would spit on the bloody thing”. Mind you this was as far as my notions of paying respect to his style of climbing went. No way was I going to give up my nylon ropes, harness, EBs, Rocks and Friends in favour of hemp ropes and well, not much else!

I also gave myself another cross to bear. I prefer to do routes in a clean on sight lead, but usually it’s just that, a preference and it’s no big deal if it doesn’t happen. But KG was different I suppose I had become rather stupidly obsessed with it but I knew that failing and coming back to do it later would completely spoil it for me. With this route, more than any other, I had to be sure I would make it first time. As a result, even after I’d been leading 5As and harder for several years I’d always shied away from Kipling Groove.

I began to wonder if I would ever do it especially because most of my friends could only rarely be dragged away from their beloved Northumbrian Sandstone and even then Shepherds Crag was their idea of a mountain crag. If ever I did persuade them to go somewhere more remote it always seemed to rain, but this time was going to be different. A cold damp sea fret had enveloped the East Coast but the forecast for Cumbria was superb and so I easily persuaded three friends that Gimmer would be an ideal place to go to. It had been dry for a week and it was pleasantly warm.

All we needed was an early start on the day because it was a three-hour drive and forty five-minute walk in to Gimmer, quite enough for a day trip. Unfortunately this hadn’t happened and I was becoming very annoyed. We had agreed to leave at 7.00 am and now an hour had passed and there was still no sign of anyone. By 8.30 I was annoyed Then Will rang up to say that he had just woken up I gritted my teeth and said nothing. At this rate it would be dark before we reached the crag.

It was after 9.00am when Will, in the company of his son, the imaginatively named Will jnr, eventually arrived and we still had to drive to the other side of Newcastle to pick up the last member of the party, PT. By the time we reached him, he was in an even worse temper than me. He said we’d never get parked, that the crag would be crowded and all the best routes would have a million people on them by the time we got there. It was some consolation that both of the Wills were suffering badly from the after effects of a night on the beer, but this just meant that we had to make several unscheduled stops which only added to the journey time.

At least nobody suggested going to the much nearer alternative of Shepherds Crag even although it was going to be after midday by the time we reached Gimmer.

Well, PT was right about the parking, because there was nowhere free at the Old Dungeon Ghyll. We eventually found a place on the old bridge just before the New Dungeon Ghyll. The nearby and very accessible Raven Crag just behind the Old Dungeon Ghyll was deserted. Will took this as a good sign but I disagreed and said “It just means everyone has to Gimmer because it's so warm and sunny".

We reached the crag at half past twelve to find that it was also strangely empty of climbers. Even Will’s rather smug “I told you there was no need to hurry” didn’t stop me from cheering up immensely. The day, or rather the afternoon’s climbing began when I led Will jnr up Gimmer String, an E1 5b. It is a lovely climb with the crux up near the top on a steepish slab of perfect rock. I felt good and hurried down to the bottom to do Asterisk. This turned out to be a really pleasant Hard Severe and it finished on a large terrace where several other climbs started. Will jnr came up after a bit of a struggle, but then delicate climbing wasn't really his strongpoint.

We still had the place to ourselves. The terrace was deserted, the crag was bone dry, it was pleasantly warm and I knew Will jnr would follow anything I suggested. I knew that this really should be the day for Kipling Groove. I knew I was in good form and there was really no excuse not to have a go, surely I would never be a better chance? But I still wasn’t sure. I began to think of the alphabet routes; A-F, none of which I’d done and none of which were harder than VS. Yes I thought, I'm a bit tired now so I could do one of them and come back for Kipling Groove. I had decided, or thought I had.

Then PT and Will snr arrived and I sort of lost control of events. They were going to do Whits End Direct an E1 and PT, assuming I was going to do Kipling Groove said,

“And remember to spit on the peg”. 

 

“When I get to it maybe I'll feel more like kissing it “ I sarcastically replied.

For those not up on their climbing history a slight digression may be necessary to explain the significance of the above, so here goes. When the route was put up by Arthur Dolphin  he did it without any aid. Then along came Joe Brown to repeat the route and he very controversially banged a peg into the rock to make the hardest part safer. Recently a fellow club member had led the route and he said he was so glad to see the peg, he very nearly kissed it, to which I said, I would spit on it to do honour to Mr Dolphin!

The sarcasm was lost on Will jnr who now also assumed we were doing Kipling and he scrambled up to the start saying he'd always wanted to do the route as well. I suddenly realised that if I appeared to back off now, some might think I was rather lacking in the old moral fibre department. So I thought I'd best just get on with it although really I was quite pleased at the turn of events.

The climb did not disappoint. From the spectacular leftwards traverse on under clings on the first pitch to the steep groove leading to the peg on the second pitch, the climb was everything I’d hoped it would be. Near the top of the steep groove there were perfect placements for both a medium sized rock and a camming device so an old rusting peg was pretty superfluous to requirements. The hardest part, at least for me was a little rightwards traverse at the top of the groove. Having a long reach was a big advantage because it meant that at full stretch I could slot in a decent enough rock before making a committing step across. For Dolphin and the others of his era without the benefit of modern kit, climbing something like this was effectively a solo and moreover it was a solo at virtually the highest standard.

When Will jnr reached the top the twilight was gathering and we stumbled down the descent gully by the light of one head torch and wasted no time in packing our gear and heading for the pub.

A couple of beers in the Old Dungeon Ghyll rounded off the day to perfection and on the drive back I was able to reflect that life really doesn’t get much better. Despite the unpromising start it had turned out to be one of the best of climbing days and I’d completed three of the best routes I’ve ever done in the company of three of my best friends.

We didn’t get back to Newcastle until 3 am in the morning which made it the latest finish we’d ever had. Oh and if you’re wondering about the peg, did I spit on it? Did I kiss it? To tell you the truth I never even noticed it!